Belfast Telegraph

Friday 25 April 2014

Credit crunch can’t gag the bank jokers

With rising unemployment, growing threats of redundancies and prices in the shops generally going north, the economic situation is no laughing matter.

But human nature being what it is, gallows humour is abounding these days, propelled in no small measure by the internet.

One of the best gags doing the rounds on the email goes like this:

Q: What is the difference between a banker and a pigeon?

A: A pigeon can still manage to put a deposit on a Ferrari.

And another one:

Q: What is the definition of an optimist?

A: A banker who irons five shirts on a Sunday night.

Then there was the sad tale of a building society on the Isle of Dogs that collapsed. Apparently they had to call in the retrievers.

But what about the dreadful events which have engulfed the Japanese economy?

In the space of seven hours Origami Bank has folded, Sumo Bank has gone belly up and Bonsai Bank announced plans to cut some of its branches.

The latest blow was the announcement of the Karaoke Bank that it is up for sale and will likely go for a song, while shares in Kamikaze Bank were suspended after they nose-dived.

Samurai Bank is soldiering on following sharp cutbacks, Ninja Bank is reported to have taken a hit, but they remain in the black. Furthermore, 500 staff at Karate Bank got the chop and analysts report that there is something fishy going on at Sushi Bank where it is feared that staff may get a raw deal.

Mind you, Talking Shop is not certain but this one may have been in circulation in the UK recession of 1991-92.

So many one-liners are on the go this time, however, that BBC online has set up a special web page devoted to credit crunch jokes.

Such as:

Q: Why didn't the little boy get any pocket money this week?

A: Cos his Mum's gone to Iceland!

Groan, groan, but at least it makes a change from Irish jokes.