DVD: Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time (12)
What in Satan's kittens is a pecs-out, pumped-up Jake Gyllenhaal (Donnie Darko, Jarhead) doing in Mike Newell's dunderheaded rot?
Disney's fantasy-action adventure is based on the video game of the same name and centres on an unruly, but obviously courageous, prince (Gyllenhaal) who is fitted up for his adoptive father's murder. He teams up with a rival princess (Gemma Arterton) to avenge this injustice and, more crucially, needs to safeguard a magical dagger that gives its possessor the power to reverse time. Ben Kingsley and Alfred Molina sleepwalk through this dismal, humourless actioner.