Belfast Telegraph

Saturday 23 August 2014

DVD: The Twilight Saga: Eclipse (12)

"Stop, I'm tired of this," Bella, like, totally, emotes. Aren't we all Bella, aren't we all? Kristen Stewart, so good in Adventureland, is still the only thing worth watching in this dismal saga of pasty neck-biters in Fork, Washington.

The two "boys" – Robert Pattinson's moody vamp, Edward, and Taylor Lautner's often topless werewolf – are still vying for Bella's attentions. Holy moly, sleep with one of them already! Watching this leaden teen drama is like listening to two gap-year backpackers drone on in a cheap hostel about their various "exploits". A humourless business, and it has a god-awful soft-rock soundtrack to boot.



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Your Horoscopes by Russell Grant

Virgo:

Your keen intelligence makes you a popular figure. Everyone is asking for your advice. This may be a sign that it's time to open a consultancy. Why give away your talent when you can charge a fee for it? There's nothing crass about earning money from your natural gifts. If you're interested in someone special, send them a text or email. You always express yourself so well with the written word. The direct, honest approach works best. Don't hide your feelings.More