Belfast Telegraph

Tuesday 2 September 2014

DVD: The Twilight Saga: Eclipse (12)

"Stop, I'm tired of this," Bella, like, totally, emotes. Aren't we all Bella, aren't we all? Kristen Stewart, so good in Adventureland, is still the only thing worth watching in this dismal saga of pasty neck-biters in Fork, Washington.

The two "boys" – Robert Pattinson's moody vamp, Edward, and Taylor Lautner's often topless werewolf – are still vying for Bella's attentions. Holy moly, sleep with one of them already! Watching this leaden teen drama is like listening to two gap-year backpackers drone on in a cheap hostel about their various "exploits". A humourless business, and it has a god-awful soft-rock soundtrack to boot.



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Horoscopes

Your Horoscopes by Russell Grant

Virgo:

It's time to take charge of your finances. You can't relax unless you have some money in the bank. Therefore, you should land a good job that brings a steady income. Don't be afraid to ask for more money than you are initially offered. A show of courage will pave the way for a good working relationship with your boss. You're tired of giving away your precious talent for a pittance. Stand in your own defence. If you don't, nobody else will.More