Miley Cyrus Bangerz Tour review: A performer with all the charm of a hen night casualty pushed on stage in front of thousands
Published 20/05/2014 | 12:00
The ever controversial Miley Cyrus brought her global Bangerz Tour to Belfast and the question on most people's lips was: would it be suitable for children?
As it happened, it was barely suitable for adults.
In a surprisingly sparsely- attended Odyssey Arena, Cyrus lived up to her 'bad girl' reputation, and then some.
By the end of the first song alone, we had been bombarded with crotch-grabbing, tongue-flashing, 'twerking' and more f-words than you would find in a Martin Scorsese movie about Mötley Crüe dropping anvils on one another's toes.
"F***ing bangerz!" the onetime Disney starlet guldered, with all the charm of a hen night casualty who had been handed a microphone and pushed on stage in front of several thousand people.
The shameless one was accompanied by her own motley crew of dancers, including a dwarf in a Madonna-style pointy bra and a larger lady who seemed to be wearing a much smaller lady's outfit.
For a track entitled Love Money Party, Cyrus appeared on the bonnet of a gold-plated sports car, sporting a dollar bill-patterned leotard that made Janet Jackson's infamous 'wardrobe malfunction' look modest.
She proceeded to gyrate on the car's windscreen, clicking her white cowboy-booted heels in the air, as fake banknotes rained on the crowd,
Afterwards, dissatisfied with the apparently reserved reaction, Cyrus urged her young fans to "have a couple of drinks and get f**ked up".
Meanwhile, video screens flashed an acid trip-inspired procession of images of marijuana joints, ashtrays full of cocaine, sex toys and the main woman herself in various grotesque poses.
All of this would have been fine – entertaining, even – were Cyrus not aggressively marketed towards children, many of whom sat agog next to embarrassed parents, who were no doubt bracing themselves for a barrage of awkward questions on the way home.
And the calculated outrage kept on coming: foam spliffs, Cyrus and company writhing around on a giant bed and an audience participation 'game' called, 'Are you sluttier than America?' that involved the singer spitting water at the front rows.
"If there were any rules, I'd be sure to break them all," Cyrus boasted in her Tennessee drawl, and while you may admire her chutzpah, it's hard to know where she can go from here.
Still just 21, she can't really top last night's performance without putting on an actual live sex show, and the music isn't strong enough to sustain a substantial career.
Indeed, the best thing you can say about the erstwhile Hannah Montana's 'vocals' is that she certainly didn't seem to be miming.