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Adele tells of depression battle after birth of son

By Laura Harding

Published 01/11/2016

Scared: singer Adele
Scared: singer Adele

Adele has revealed she had post-natal depression after her son's birth and felt she had made "the worst decision of my life".

The singer also said she is "too scared" to have another child.

She told Vanity Fair she loves son Angelo, now four, more than anything but felt inadequate as a mother and had to spend time away from him after he was born.

She said: "My knowledge of postpartum - or post-natal, as we call it in England - is that you don't want to be with your child; you're worried you might hurt your child; you're worried you weren't doing a good job.

"But I was obsessed with my child. I felt very inadequate; I felt like I'd made the worst decision of my life. It can come in many different forms.

"Eventually I just said, I'm going to give myself an afternoon a week, just to do whatever the f*** I want without my baby.

"A friend of mine said, 'Really? Don't you feel bad?' I said, 'I do, but not as bad as I'd feel if I didn't do it'."

The singer said she did not take anti-depressants and was reluctant to talk to anyone about how she was feeling.

She told the magazine: "I think it's the bravest thing not to have a child; all my friends and I felt pressurised into having kids, because that's what adults do.

"I love my son more than anything, but on a daily basis, if I have a minute or two, I wish I could do whatever the f*** I wanted, whenever I want. Every single day I feel like that."

Asked about having another baby, she said her partner Simon Konecki's daughter from a former marriage is her "get-out-of-jail-free card".

The 28-year-old admitted she used to be a "massive drinker", and was drunk when she wrote hit album 21, but has stopped smoking and cut back to just two glasses of wine a week since having vocal surgery.

"I was completely off my face writing that album, and a drunk tongue is an honest one.

"But since I've had my baby, I'm not as carefree as I used to be. I'm scared of a lot of things now because I don't want to die; I want to be around for my kid."

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