Amy Adams: I could never be a diva
Amy Adams thinks it would be fun to be a diva although she feels too vulnerable to ever be rude to people.
Although the star has been nominated for four Oscars, she is still struggling to come to terms with her success. Wherever possible the 38-year-old star prefers to fly under the radar and has come to accept she is never going to enjoy being the centre of attention.
"I graduated high school and I didn’t have a skill set and I didn’t want to go to college. I needed a job. This is what I could do. And I like it, but it can be very painful. You feel so vulnerable all the time on set, so exposed," she explained to the July edition of British magazine Elle.
"But I had that same feeling of being exposed when I was a waitress, I have it at parties, I have it here. I’d love to be a diva. But I’d then have to send so many apology notes for my abhorrent behaviour."
The star wouldn't swap her life although her success has taken a huge toll on her. She first hit the limelight after appearing alongside Leonardo DiCaprio in 2002's Catch Me If You Can. Amy recalls feeling completely unprepared for the way her life changed and the amount of attention she received. It made her start to quiz whether she was in the right industry.
"I choked. I felt this pressure to suddenly be this level of actress that I wasn’t confident enough to be. I did a series of really bad auditions, I let the nerves get the best of me," she explained.
"And the couple of years after that it was, 'I can’t do this. I’m not strong enough to continue with this level of rejection.' It was, 'What am I going to do with my life?' I was staring down 30. I was lost, confused."
The actress believes her career isn't totally to blame for her insecure feelings. She has always been a worrier and never enjoyed having all eyes on her. Amy happily retreats into the background when at parties or events and has had to separate that part of her life from her love of becoming a character for a film.
An experience at the Academy Awards was eventually when the star's anxiety peaked.
"I had an existential crisis at the Oscars, sitting next to Sean Penn and Meryl Streep and being like, 'What am I doing here? I don’t belong here.' I felt like it could all be taken away," she explained.
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