Charlie Sheen considered suicide after HIV diagnosis
The actor cringes at old footage of his crazy behaviour during his "tiger blood" phase.
Charlie Sheen wanted to "eat a bullet" and end his life after he was diagnosed with HIV.
The former Two and a Half Men star went public with his health struggle in late 2015, revealing he had been dealing with the condition in secret for the past four years.
He has since enrolled in an experimental new drug trial which he believes has suppressed his illness, and he told U.S. breakfast show Good Morning America, "I feel really good."
However, Charlie initially thought his life was doomed after hearing the doctor utter the letters "HIV", and he would have committed suicide had it not been for the presence of his mother, actress Janet Sheen.
"The day I was diagnosed, I immediately wanted to eat a bullet," he confessed. "But my mum was there, I wouldn't do that in front of her, or let her find me to clean up that mess."
The 51-year-old quickly learned living with HIV wouldn't be as bad as he had imagined, thanks to the developments of modern medicine, and his current participation in a months-long Food and Drug Administration (FDA) study for a drug known as PRO-140 has worked wonders for Sheen.
"(It's) in the late stages of its trial run," he said. "We are very close to being approved."
He explained, "It's not this hideous cocktail (of drugs) that leads to so many side effects and just so much disdain, you know, emotionally and physically - it's one shot a week. It's going well... I feel like I'm carrying the torch for a lot of folks out there that are suffering from the same thing."
Charlie insists he still has some down days, but he is determined to remain positive about his future.
"Like all of us, some days are better than others, but most days are pretty frickin' (sic) cool," he shared. "I walk out into the world and it's warm hugs and compliments (from the public); there's nothing but love (for me) out there right now."
The public's opinion of Sheen has come a long way since his days of heavy partying, particularly during his infamous "tiger blood" phase in 2011, at the height of his wild behaviour.
The actor previously blamed his controversial ways on his use of testosterone cream during that period, and he is still amazed at how "bizarre" his media interviews were at the time: "It's fun to kind of watch sometimes, but also just a little bit cringeable," he smiled. "It's like, 'Dude, what the hell was that?'"
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