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Cheryl Cole felt "relieved" when a nurse told her death was a "possibility" during her malaria battle.
The former X Factor UK judge has written a tell-all autobiography, Cheryl: My Story, which British newspaper The Sun is serialising.
The 29-year-old contracted malaria in 2010, after a trip to Tanzania with her dancer friend Derek Hough.
"It was so frightening and I felt exhausted. I just wanted to go to sleep and make everything stop," she explains in the book.
"I can clearly remember asking the nurse if I was dying - and feeling relieved when she said, 'It's a possibility.' 'Make this end,' I thought. I just had nothing left. Afterwards I told mam, 'I'm gonna write me will. Bring paper, I need to tell you what to do.' I was matter of fact. I was so over it by now - too tired to take any more (sic)."
The singer visited Africa after splitting from her soccer star husband Ashley Cole, amid claims he had cheated on her.
She believes the turmoil of her personal life caused her to be more reckless than usual.
"It's almost as if it was God's way of forcing me to stop and get off the roller coaster ride my life had become. It made me take a good look at myself - and that's what I've done," she writes.
"For four days Derek and I had been on safari to Tanzania in June, 2010... Normally I wasn't this spontaneous but my whole world had been turned upside down and it felt like all the rules had changed. I had no husband, no responsibilities, so why shouldn't I?"
Cheryl luckily overcame her ordeal completely and is back to full health.
The star has reunited with her Girls Aloud bandmates - Kimberley Walsh, Nadine Coyle, Sarah Harding and Nicola Roberts - to celebrate their tenth anniversary next month.
The group took a break in 2009, but have confirmed they are releasing new material and will perform on UK TV show Strictly Come Dancing.
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