Ellen DeGeneres wants to help Oscar nominees "make a good speech" at this weekend's ceremony.
The comedienne is excited about the glamorous festivities surrounding this Sunday's Academy Awards.
In an effort to improve the night for her celebrity pals, Ellen has provided pointers on how to make a winning acceptance speech.
"I thought I could offer some tips to help the nominees make a good speech in case they end up winning," Ellen said in her opening monologue Friday on The Ellen DeGeneres Show. "I'm calling it, 'Ellen's Tips to Help the Nominees Make a Good Speech In Case They End Up Winning.' "
Ellen thinks it essential that nominees be well nourished before they step up to the podium.
"You gotta eat something. You can't be light headed when you walk up on stage," she explained. "So my tip is, you know you see people putting speeches in their cleavage? Sometimes they're reaching in their cleavage. If there's room for that, then put a sandwich down there. If there's not a lot of room, a breadstick, just something!"
While accepting a trophy, humility is not necessarily the best policy in Ellen's opinion.
"Don't act surprised when you win," Ellen joked. "You were nominated. There were only five people in the category. That's like a one and three chance of winning, I think. So just be honest. Get up there and say, 'Thank God I didn't lose, I wonder what that would feel like!' "
Ellen also believes it is sensible to keep the oration brief.
"A lot of people start out by saying I don't have time to thank everyone," she shared. "You're using up time by saying you don't have time. So stop saying that."
The 84th Annual Academy Awards will be held at the Kodak Theatre in Los Angeles Sunday.
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