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Grey: 8 things we learn in the new Fifty Shades of Grey book

By Jess Denham

Published 18/06/2015

Dakota Johnson and Jamie Dornan in Fifty Shades of Grey. Photo: Focus Features
Dakota Johnson and Jamie Dornan in Fifty Shades of Grey. Photo: Focus Features
Jamie Dornan in Fifty Shades of Grey. Photo: Focus Features
Jamie Dornan as Christian Grey
The Fifty Shades Of Grey film has been given an 18 certificate by the BBFC with no cuts (Universal)
A scene from Fifty Shades
Anastasia meets Christian's parents in new steamy trailer for Fifty Shades Of Grey aired during Golden Globes
Dakota Johnson and Jamie Dornan in Fifty Shades of Grey. Photo: Focus Features
Dakota Johnson and Jamie Dornan star in Fifty Shades Of Grey
The Fifty Shades Of Grey movie hints at sadomasochistic themes
Dakota Johnson plays Anastasia Steele in Fifty Shades Of Grey
Jamie Dornan stars as Christian Grey in Fifty Shades Of Grey (Universal Pictures)

Today is Christian Grey's birthday and to celebrate, author EL James has released a new Fifty Shades of Grey book telling the story through the steely blue eyes of the BDSM-loving billionaire.

Not everyone has the time or inclination to whizz through Grey on their lunch breaks, so we figured we'd do some of the hard work for you and reveal the funniest, cringiest and simply fascinating things we learned from the fourth instalment in the bestselling erotic series.

Saddle up, it's quite a ride...

1) The sex scenes are the most explicit yet

Christian does not hold back, shall we just say. Anastasia Steele's account of their sexual encounters was often clumsy and full of "oh craps" but Christian goes straight to the point. No romantic overtones here and fortunately no mention of an "inner god" - it's more like a literary trip to PornHub.

2) Christian's mind was thinking all sorts of dirty things when he first met Anastasia Steele

She arrived at Grey Enterprises coyly ready to interview a big shot businessman. But when Ana entered Christian's office with her notepad and pen looking all innocent, he was dreaming of "bending her over my knee, spanking her and then f**king her over my desk with her hands tied behind her back". So anyways...

3). Christian actually quotes Keats in his mind

This is hilarious. Remember that sexual tension-packed kiss in the lift? This is what was going through Christian's mind: "Finally I can sample her: Mint and tea and an orchard of mellow fruitfulness. She tastes every bit as good as she looks. Good lord I'm yearning for her." Oh EL James you outdid yourself there.

4) Christian is not as sure about himself in the sack as you might think

"Whoah, I'm responsible for her first f**k and her first orgasm. I'd better make this good!" he says after learning that Ana is a virgin and, he assumes, totally sexually-inexperienced. No pressure!

5) The submission scene made Christian feel all emotional too...

He's not all cold and unfeeling ladies - he's the real submissive here. Ana may have felt rejected after feeling him tense and and seem all offish but this is what Christian was actually thinking: "I'm overwhelmed by an unfamiliar emotion that rocks through me, slicing through sinew and bone, leaving unease in its wake." He just didn't know what to do with all that emotion...but he could have tried harder to be less of a douchbag right?

The Fifty Shades Of Grey movie hints at sadomasochistic themes
The Fifty Shades Of Grey movie hints at sadomasochistic themes

6) Christian's childhood was horrific

This man is craving a woman's love. In Grey we learn that 4-year-old Christian covered his "crack w***e" mother's dead body with his blankie while trying to avoid being killed himself at the hands of her abusive partner. If all that wouldn't mess you up we're not sure what would.

7) There are probably going to be more Grey books

James ends this one with Christian going to see a therapist in a bid to win back Ana and wondering whether he could ever have a "vanilla relationship" with her. Cue the potential to see what happens next - she's certainly business-minded.

8) Publishers Penguin Random House are besotted

These folks love Christian Grey so much that the New Zealand team made him a birthday cake. But then again the Fifty Shades books have sold more than 125 million copies worldwide so there's plenty of reason to celebrate.

Source: Independent

Read more:

Latest instalment of Fifty Shades of Grey already on best-seller lists  

Independent News Service

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