Kelly Clarkson: 'I think of quitting the spotlight all the time'
The pop star was in a very dark place as she struggled to adjust to fame.
Kelly Clarkson is forever considering stepping away from the microphone for good since becoming a mum.
The Since U Been Gone hitmaker has sold millions of albums since winning the first season of TV talent show American Idol in 2002, but since welcoming daughter River Rose two years ago, she's not as passionate about singing as she used to be.
"I'm always going to be a singer, but the level I'm at… I have constant guilt," Kelly, who became a mum again earlier this year (16), tells Good Housekeeping magazine. "I don't have to work; I think it's because I have that option that I feel the guilt. But it's important for my girls (female fans), especially, to see me as a woman accomplishing all these things while nailing it as a mom. I always come back to that."
In addition to her two biological children, Kelly is also stepmother to manager husband Brandon Blackstock's two children from his previous marriage, and the 34-year-old admits her many career obligations left her feeling depressed about being famous for a while.
"I was in a very dark place for a long time," she says of her previous struggle with fame. "It's just so hard to have normalcy. I love to sing, and I love to talk to people at meet-and-greets. It's just all the crap that comes along with this job... I don't love travelling, because I'm never home. It's hard when you have a family."
But during her down days, the singer remembers why she does what she does - and uses her celebrity status to make a difference.
"It's amazing to impact people's lives," she adds. "It's a cool thing to have the spotlight and be able to reassure people, to say, 'It's OK to be you'. I feel like you can be the best role model by being yourself. The fact that I get to do what I love and 14 years in, I'm still doing it, I don't know how anything could get better."
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