One Direction mind-benders - are you a 1D dodo or genius?
As the world’s biggest boyband prepares to make young girls weak at the knees when they arrive in Belfast this week, Telegraph humourist Robert McNeil, who knows absolutely nothing about One Direction, has set this quiz to test your knowledge...
Questions to reveal if you’re clued upabout the planet’s hottest pop chaps
Harry Styles (main picture) and his One Direction bandmates are in Belfast this week1
Which television show launched the band?
a. Last Of The Summer Wine
b. Attenborough’s Planet Earth
c. The X Factor
d. Songs Of Praise
2 Which illustrious Irishman stars in the band?
a. Samuel Beckett
b. Niall James Horan
3 Can you name the band’s first album?
a. Their Satanic Majesties
b. Canto Gregoriano — Major Works Of Gregorian Chant
c. Up All Night
d. Downton Abbey
4 Who branded the band’s Liam Payne “rude”?
a. Bill Clinton
b. Bradley Wiggins
c. The whole Icelandic people
d. Boy George
5 Who recently warned singer Harry Styles off older women?
a. The Archbishop of Canterbury
b. Russell Brand
c. Madonna (right)
d. Nigel Farage
6 Who called their first album “blithe and sometimes clever”?
a. The New York Times
c. Saga Magazine
d. The Financial Times
7 Which singer was a major influence on Harry Styles?
a. Susan Boyle (right)
c. Sir Harry Secombe
8 What did Prime Minister David Cameron reputedly say about the band?
a. I’d really love to see them naked
b. Just stay away from my wife, Styles
c. On hearing their first record, I literally vomited
d. They’re great trade exports for Britain
9 What object recently hit Harry in the groin?
a. A meteor
b. A tax demand
c. A shoe thrown in Glasgow
d. He doesn’t have a groin
10 What extra-curricular activity does Zayn Malik enjoy?
a. The Times crossword
b. Dressing up as Queen Victoria
d. Orchid collecting
: 1:c 2:b 3:c 4:d 5:b 6:a 7:b 8:d 9:c 10:c If you scored 1-2, congratulations, you have life in perspective. If you got 3-6 right, your command of current affairs is admirable. If you scored 7-9, you are very sad and should get out more. If you got all 10 right, please report to a doctor immediately.