Given the kerfuffle, Nigella is probably sorry she opened her generous mouth to say that she has no intention of leaving her millions to her children. She may not have meant it quite literally but parents all over the country will understand exactly what she did mean.

That taking away your child's reason to work, to achieve and to make their own way in the world by dangling a big, fat, juicy inheritance would be a grave mistake (no pun intended). You don't have to be mega-rich for it to be an issue. If you own your own semi-detached, in the present climate, you have an 'estate' well worth an executor's time and trouble. And where there's a Will ...

Those who have worked hard to make it, tend to want to pass on those go-getting qualities to their offspring. An inheritance really worth having. Richard Farleigh, Aussie entrepreneur of The Dragons' Den, said recently he'd told his teenage son not to bank on a big inheritance. The self-made multi-millionaire, who grew up in poverty as one of 11 children, had shown his son his new Ferrari, only for the lad to say "I'll have a Lamborghini when I'm older." At that point Richard decided the boy needed to learn how to make his own stash, though conceded he'd probably 'do the right thing' when it came to it.

Wayne Hemmingway, who made millions with fashion label Red or Dead, having started out with his wife, as students, selling their own second-hand clothes on a market stall, once told me he was anxious not to spoil his kids, to teach them the worth of work.

I may not have their millions but I do have their mindset. You appreciate things more when you work hard for them yourself. It gives you purpose and a sense of achievement. I think that's what Nigella was getting at.

As a parent, I don't believe in spoiling kids but I do see the sense in supporting them while they make their way.

Anyway, I haven't the heart to be a full throttle SKI-er (Spending the Kids Inheritance). I might fantasise about hurtling recklessly off-piste with the other Grey Pounders but, when it comes down to it, I'm more at home in the gentle slush of the nursery slopes.

In other words, I'll spend some and give some away. Money is a family matter - what's ours is theirs. And, that, is where they have you. We've been chief cashiers in the Bank of Mum and Dad for longer than I care to remember. For the kids - students living away from home - it works a bit like a credit union, only they don't pay any money in. But, in fairness, they do their bit, too, and are glad to take that minimum wage summer job.

There's a world of difference between spoiling them and supporting them. There's an expression I like: " Giving with a warm hand". It means giving this side of the grave.

I have no wish to be the richest corpse in the graveyard. I hope to have spent everything or have given most of it away already. The trick, of course, would be in getting the timing right - there's the rub."

'I could always grow old disgracefully'

Alf McCreary says: The question of whether 'To Leave' or 'Not To Leave' money to the children is a problem of almost Shakespearean dimensions facing modern parents, whose cash is mostly tied up in their inflated property values rather than in cash in their pockets.

My instinct is to spend what I need, and sometimes more, on modern comforts - not on the Ferrari of some people's dreams, or other image toys which are the sign of a vulgar upbringing. A true Ulsterman knows how not to flaunt his wealth.

However, it would be wonderful to have the generosity of a Bill Gates who spends millions on the developing world, or to leave significant sums to deserving charities, including animal welfare organisations. There might even be a temptation to buy my way into sainthood, but that sounds not only impossible but utterly boring. Saints, apparently, have no fun.

There is always the lurking temptation to grow old disgracefully and to buy a tropical bungalow overlooking a tranquil sea, and to watch the sun go down in a haze of fine wine, with long-limbed attendants to look after me.

Having done that for a few years, there might then be the call of madness by buying into a football team like Newcastle United and expecting it to be the best in Europe, even though you know that it's not even the best on Tyneside. Dream on Kevin Keegan, but without my money - at least not yet.

For those with more money than sense there is also the temptation of investing in the movie business and sharing second-hand the hedonistic pleasures of BAFTA ceremonies and OSCAR glories which are showered on somebody else. Or you could make your mark for posterity by helping to fund a university department or a hospital ward, a school or a library.

Meanwhile, the children might look askance at the Ferrari or the football team, or the tropical bungalow and the worthy donations to charity. But, it's not really their business. The money is 'mine', as my grandson Thomas (2) reminded me when he pocketed my pound coin from the Marks & Spencer trolley and refused to give it back. That boy will go far!

Would I, will I, spend the kids inheritance? Probably not entirely, but I might have a darned good try. Fast cars and fast ladies are not my priorities just now, but I would probably spend my last pounds on seeing even more of the world - not roughing it as in the days of student travel but in the comfort of the first-class cabin and five-star hotel, with a fine Chablis to ease me into the luxury of an evening. And somewhere I might have a teeny-weeny Bentley parked outside.

However, there might be just a twinge of conscience. Like most parents, I want my children to earn their living and to develop a good value system, which they are doing extremely well already, but I would never see them in difficulties, and as far as possible I would always take care of them. Anyway, when I am carted in to the Alderman Cooper Sunset Home, protesting loudly, I hope that they will also take care of me. So perhaps I'd better starting bribing them now, before its too late ? "