Belfast Telegraph

Thursday 2 October 2014

5 ways to get relationship ready

Oh, relationships, you’re complicated and confusing and you make our heart feel like it’s been ripped out, smashed on the floor, stamped on, sticky-taped up and shoved back in.

New relationship, anyone? Maybe you’ve never been unlucky in love but you’re still unsure if you’re ready to hit the dating scene. If you’re thinking of embarking upon a sparkling new romance, check yourself into relationship rehab by following our five ways to get ready for romance.

Leave emotional baggage behind

The tricky thing about emotional baggage from past relationships is that it has a sneaky way of manifesting itself into our future romances. After internalising negative feelings from previous relationships, it’s pretty easy to carry these fears forward into new relationships, leading us to act irrationally and eventually drive our other half away or cause the same mistakes to repeat over again. Don’t let your new relationship become an emotional rollercoaster; to break out of this cycle, assess what it was that worried, upset or hurt you in the past and learn to forgive and move on. Remember that your past experiences never have to dictate your future and refuse to carry them forward. Hello drama-free future relationship!

Be happy by yourself

Before you can expect anyone else to want to be a part of your life you need to be happy with yourself to begin with. Yes, it sounds cliché and yes, you probably could have finished that sentence before we even started it, but it’s true. If you’re feeling miserable, insecure or unloved because you aren’t coupled up, it might be worth questioning why you want a relationship in the first place. Relationships are a two-way commitment and if you’re thinking of getting into one purely for a confidence boost, you perhaps need to address why you’re lacking confidence so much in the first place. If you get together with someone to fill a gap, you’ll never feel complete until you address your own insecurities.

Have your own interests

A confident, grounded and interesting person is extremely attractive, so make sure you have your own hobbies, friends and interests before entering into a new relationship. When you’re on the dating scene, no one’s interested in the person who has nothing to say when asked what they do in their spare time. Make sure you continue with your hobbies once you’re in a relationship too; spending all of your time together gets pretty boring and if you don’t have any of your own interests, what will you ever talk about? “Sooo, our new rug...”

Pin-point what you want

Before setting out to find your dream partner, you need to know what you want. Decide upon what you’re looking for in a future relationship to make it easier to find your perfect pal. Do you want someone who’s pursuing a similar career path to you? Someone who likes animals? A non-smoker? It’s no good finding someone who loves chain-smoking, extreme sports and wild nights out when you want a non-smoking, tee-total lover of relaxing spa days. Don’t make your checklist too strict though – you could overlook the perfect person because you’re too busy looking out for the perfect traits to match your checklist.

Consider dating outside of your “type”

Talking of strict checklists, if you’ve been dating numerous versions of the same “type” of person for a while, it might be time to open up your mind a little and see who else is out there. Sometimes we can be so keen on a certain prototype that we can keep pursuing them forever, but it won’t change the fact that you perhaps aren’t compatible with this person. Break out of that bad habit and start enjoying the dating scene and you’re likely to find the perfect person... and they probably won’t be anything like your type after all.

Source: www.realbuzz.com

More from realbuzz: 10 ways to ditch your relationship baggage







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