Belfast Telegraph

Alcoholic girl causes sex problem

Northern Ireland's number one agony aunt Fiona answers your problems

Dear Fiona, I’ve been seeing a woman for nearly one year and at first our sex life was great but I’ve discovered she’s an alcoholic.

She has promised to get help but hasn’t done anything about it and it causes numerous arguments. Without being too graphic, I now cannot ejaculate during sex and I have to pretend. It's never happened before so can you give me any advice?

C, Bangor

Dear C,

Retarded ejaculation is common but can cause serious problems within a relationship. However, it’s highly likely that your psychological status is responsible as it hasn’t happened previously.

The relationship is volatile and you’re not confident of its future, hence conflict and anxiety may be hindering your ability.

A healthy sexual relationship needs more than physical performance — communication, trust, and emotional intimacy are all important.

If you can’t express yourself and feel psychologically and emotionally ‘buttoned-up’, your body will mirror this. In order for this relationship to progress and your physical performance to be restored, it’s essential that any conflict, anger or resentment is resolved.

Discuss this issue with your partner and impress upon her the importance of seeking help to resolve her alcoholism.

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