Belfast Telegraph

Friday 9 October 2015

Boyfriend won’t commit to me and our baby

Fiona Caine is here to help if you have a relationship, sexual, marriage or family problem

Published 16/08/2012

I wish I could get my boyfriend — who is the father of my baby — to make a commitment.

He lives with his parents rather than with me and he works for the family business.

He stays with me once in a while, but he says he won't move in until I get myself sorted out.

He’s given me a list of things he thinks I need to do, such as find a childminder, get a job, lose weight, etc.

I know I’ve let myself go a bit since our little girl was born last year, but everything on his list is really hard without any money to start off with.

What can I do to keep us together? MS


Were it not for your child, I would be telling you to run a mile from this man.

Unfortunately, though, he is the father of your child.

You could continue to allow him to use you as a doormat, or you could tell him that it's time he faced up to his responsibilities as a dad.

Living at home and working with his parents, he clearly has no idea just how hard it is to get a job in the real world.

He could come and look after his daughter while you start getting out and job hunting.

Once you are earning, he can help with the cost of a childminder, unless you can juggle childcare between the two of you.

The weight will come off when you are doing more and when you've got back the self-esteem you've lost by letting this man walk all over you.

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