Can we survive an affair?
Fiona Caine is here to help if you have a relationship, sexual, marriage or family problem
My fiancee and I have been together for 10 years and for the last two we’ve been engaged.
We bought a flat together last year and were planning to be married but when I found out she’d had an affair with a work colleague, I was devastated. I asked her to leave but she begged me to forgive her. I still love her but I feel so badly hurt and don’t know how to learn to trust her again.
Is our relationship therefore over, or is there a way to rebuild it? BW
FIONA SAYS: TALK IT THROUGH
For some reason your fiancee felt the need to have a relationship with someone else — finding out why might help you both.
Is she bored, have you changed, has she changed? There are so many possibilities and the only thing to do with mistakes is accept that they happen and learn from them.
You have accepted you love your fiancee in spite of your hurt feelings, and if she still loves you, then both of you owe it to each other to get to the bottom of this. Contact Relate (relate.org.uk) for support in talking this through together.