Belfast Telegraph

Monday 20 October 2014

Colleagues’ sex jibes are so hurtful

Fiona Caine is here to help if you have a relationship, sexual, marriage or family problem

I’m a single man, aged 22, and I work in the office of a large company.

One of the men there has started making jokes about my lack of sexual experience and one of the girls has started joining in.

I’ve never told anyone about my personal life, so I don’t understand why this has started, but I feel very embarrassed and upset by it.

The girl has also spread some malicious and hurtful rumours about me, so now I dread going to work.

I used to really enjoy my job but I've now started looking for a new one. BO

FIONA SAYS: NOTE THEIR ‘BULLYING’

This is bullying, and while I understand why you feel like running away, please don't.

Tell them, in no uncertain terms, that you find their behaviour hurtful and ask them to stop.

If they don't do so, then start keeping a diary, noting names, dates and witnesses, including the date you asked them to stop.

If there is a colleague you can confide in to act as a witness, then so much the better.

Those responsible may stop if they see you noting what is said.

But if not, speak to your immediate superior and the company HR manager to lodge a formal grievance.

Your employer has a “duty of care” towards you; if they do nothing and you are forced to resign, then you may have a case for constructive dismissal.

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