Belfast Telegraph

Dad doesn't trust me alone with boyfriend

Fiona Caine is here to help if you have a relationship, sexual, marriage or family problem.

I’m 16 and have been going out with my boyfriend for almost a year now.

I really love him and he loves me, so we like to spend time together. But while his parents let us be alone when we go to his house, my father just won’t.

We can’t even sit in the conservatory alone together — and that’s all glass, so goodness knows what he thinks we’d get up to!

He insists that we have someone else with us, so my younger sister or brother is usually forced to be with us — which they hate and we find awkward.

Whenever we go out he says to me “be careful” as if I don’t know what I’m doing.

At his parents’ house we are alone together a lot, so if we’d wanted to make love we could have. I don’t understand why my father doesn’t trust me and allow me the same privacy his parents do. BS

FIONA SAYS: LET HIM KNOW THAT YOU UNDERSTAND HIS CONCERNS

Parents are generally far more protective of their daughters than they are of their sons when it comes to relationships.

I’m sure your father thinks he is being caring rather than restrictive, and if you can understand that you will probably go some way towards understanding him.

There is no point in comparing his behaviour towards you to your boyfriend’s parents’ attitude to their son. They are different people with different experiences to colour their thinking.

You want your father to trust you, so let him know that you understand his concern and reassure him that he has nothing to worry about.

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