Daughter’s fella isn’t good enough
Northern Ireland's number one agony aunt Fiona Hurley answers your problems
Dear Fiona, My daughter’s with her childhood sweetheart and it’s showing no sign of ending.
He left school at 16 and has worked in a factory for two years. His parents are both unemployed alcoholics and I’m praying she’ll fall for someone financially stable.
They spilt a few years ago and she then dated two suitable men but they two-timed her.
She went back saying she couldn’t be without the other one. I don’t know how she’s stimulated by someone so unmotivated. What can I do?
Worried Mother, Belfast
Dear Worried Mother,
You’re attempting to disguise snobbery as concern.
It takes enormous dedication to return daily to a soul-destroying, poorly paid job so your ‘unmotivated’ criticism’s unfair.
Disparities in life chances mean that many people don’t have the same advantages, support or opportunities and haven’t the necessary tools to fulfil their potential.
Not being instilled with self-belief is the most damaging obstacle.
Being uneducated doesn’t automatically correlate with low intelligence and during a recession, people are just grateful to be working and jobs aren’t always reflective of ability.
He loves her, makes her happy, works hard and it’s infinitely better for her to be his sweetheart than the dupe of those other men.
Please don’t lose sight of what’s important or you’ll lose the respect of your daughter.