Belfast Telegraph

Don’t let friends affect your sex life

Northern Ireland's number one agony aunt Fiona Hurley answers your problems

Dear Fiona, My husband and I only have sex once a month. We’re both happy with this but when my friends and I were discussing our sex lives, they acted like my marriage is about to end saying they have sex at least three times a week, every week.

My husband and I love each other and are very affectionate but might there be an underlying problem?

Worried Wife

Dear Worried Wife,

Every couple’s different so as long as you’re both happy there isn’t a problem. Issues usually arise when one partner’s libido is greater than the others as someone ultimately ends up feeling frustrated, while the other partner is pressurised.

How many relationships do you know of where the frequency of sex is high but compatibility in all other areas is extremely low? Research has shown that a high level of sexual activity doesn’t necessarily correlate with a relationship being more successful and frequent demonstrations of physical affection are far more important.

Stop worrying and perhaps question whether your friends are exaggerating or attempting to outdo one another. Are they trying to convince themselves by using sex to quantify and qualify how generally happy they are in their own marriages?

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