Belfast Telegraph

Fiance wants us to move in to his parents’ house

Fiona Caine is here to help if you have a relationship, sexual, marriage or family problem.

My fiance and I have been saving towards our wedding and our future life together.

I knew I was always putting more into the pot than him but thought it was because I earned more.

Now I’ve found he is helping his parents to pay the mortgage on their family home and that he is thinking we will all live there together.

I only found out about this by accident and I was devastated. I had assumed we would eventually have a place of our own but we will never be able to afford one while he’s helping with their purchase.

I want us to be independent. I don’t want to go from my mother doing things for me to his mother taking over the same role. I feel so let down and unhappy. MD

FIONA SAYS: COMMUNICATE BETTER

This is more of a relationship problem than a financial one as you are clearly not communicating with each other. You and your fiance should have discussed this before you started saving together.

He shouldn't have assumed you would be happy to go along with his plans and, to be fair to him, you shouldn't have assumed his ideas were the same as yours.

While there is a shortage of affordable housing and mortgages are difficult to come by, buying a place jointly with others can make economic sense.

Sharing a home with your in-laws, though, needs very careful planning and while it is commonplace in some cultures, it doesn't suit everyone.

Sadly, if he cannot discuss this sensibly and plan for a future with you, you may want to think about planning a future without him

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