Belfast Telegraph

Monday 29 December 2014

 His children hate us being together

Fiona Caine is here to help if you have a relationship, sexual, marriage or family problem

I’ve fallen in love with a man whose wife died three years ago and, amazingly, he feels the same way.

He’s everything I’ve ever wanted in a man, but his two adult daughters (aged 26 and 24) are forever throwing a wobbly when we see them. It makes him anxious and unhappy, and it spoils some of the things we try to do together.

We’ve both tried talking to them but they don’t want to listen. One of them has said she thinks it’s disgusting that her father, who’s only 49 years old, should want to replace her mother.

I’m afraid I may lose him if we can’t win them round. JP

FIONA SAYS: BACK OFF A LITTLE

These women are grieving for their mother and I think, rather than trying to win them over, you should back off a little bit. They see you as a threat to their mother's memory.

Call a halt to social gatherings designed to bring you together. Meanwhile, give your new man all the emotional support you can, and continue to see each other without drawing their attention. I don't mean be secretive about it, just discreet.

It's his job to reassure his daughters, not yours. In time, when their grief is less raw and they see their father is happy again, they'll adjust to the situation.

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