Belfast Telegraph

How can I help my husband to deal with cancer?

Fiona Caine is here to help if you have a relationship, sexual, marriage or family problem.

My husband has been diagnosed with testicular cancer and although no one has said it’s terminal, we are both really worried that his chances aren’t good.

Some days he’s fine, but other days he’s very down and can’t do anything around the house.

Our children are struggling to come to terms with everything and to be honest I’m trying not to think about it too much.

All I worry about is getting through life on a day-to-day basis and keeping everyone’s spirits up.

Sometimes, though, it’s very hard and I just want to take myself off and have a good cry.

The hospital has said they will put us in touch with people who can help but they haven’t done so yet and I could really do with someone now KD

FIONA SAYS: CONTACT MARIE CURIE FOR ADVICE

When someone has a life-threatening illness it can change their attitude to life in all manner of ways. The many changing moods can be really hard to live with. When you are supporting someone going through an illness like cancer it is a lot to manage by yourself and that's what you're trying to do at present.

You really need someone you can talk to, and it should be someone who isn't directly affected.

Just because the hospital hasn't referred you for help yet, that doesn't mean you can't refer yourself. If you need help now then ask for it.

I would suggest you contact Marie Curie Cancer Care who will not only offer you support themselves but signpost you to other organisations.

You are going to be under a great deal of physical and emotional stress while your husband goes through his illness.

It is very important therefore that you give yourself some time and space.

Marie Curie Cancer Care can help with the journey you and your husband are going through, and is free of charge every step of the way.

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