Belfast Telegraph

Monday 15 September 2014

How can I unite family after violent marriage?

Fiona Caine is here to help if you have a relationship, sexual, marriage or family problem

After 18 years in a unhappy, violent and loveless marriage, I finally left my husband for a wonderful man with whom I’m very happy.

Sadly, though, my children have suffered and distanced themselves from me and I can’t say I blame them; they put up with all kinds of nastiness over the years.

I think they resent me for not leaving sooner and I wish I could make things right again.

My son has been through several unhappy relationships and is now living in a grim flat on his own after his last girlfriend took most of his money.

My daughter has four kids and is struggling to make ends meet.

I’d love to be a proper family again, but that’s probably wishful thinking. CE

FIONA SAYS: BUILD BRIDGES BY BEING HONEST

Have you ever told your children why you stayed in an unhappy marriage for so long? If not, now might be a good time to do so.

Building bridges when relationships are damaged is never easy, but be honest with them and make sure they know you are around if they need you.

Tell your son you would like him to visit and perhaps offer to help with your daughter’s children.

Sharing memories of your difficult past together may be painful, but it might help you all to heal.

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