How can I win over future mother-in-law?
Fiona Caine is here to help if you have a relationship, sexual, marriage or family problem.
My fiance had a bad accident early last year and we all thought he was going to die.
Fortunately, he recovered and there are no after-effects, although he has a nasty scar and a bit of a limp.
His mother and I always got on quite well before the accident but now she seems to have changed towards me.
She has started making hurtful remarks about me, so I feel that I no longer want to go around to his house.
My fiance tells me not to worry about it but it really hurts and I can’t understand why she’s changed so much.
We are due to marry later this year and I am worried she won’t accept me even after the wedding.
Do you have any suggestions as to how to win her round?
I have tried everything I can think of, even dressing and behaving as I think she would want. KT
FIONA SAYS: DON’T CHANGE TO PLEASE HER
I suspect your fiance’s mother was deeply shocked by her son’s accident and probably thought she was going to lose him.
As a result, she has become anxious and possessive and now your wedding is seen as you “taking him away”, just as his accident nearly did.
Try to understand that she is probably still very frightened about what happened.
Don’t change yourself into something you are not in order to try to please her, you won’t be the girl your fiance loves if you do.
Simply stand firm, especially over your love for her son, and although it is difficult, please continue to see her.
The more you stay away, the more frightened she may become about losing him.
I am sure she will come around in the end, but it may take a while.