How can we ‘fix’ homosexual son?
Northern Ireland's number one agony aunt Fiona answers your problems
Dear Fiona, Our son has recently told us he is a homosexual and it has given us the biggest shock of our lives. We’ve done everything we could do to bring him up normally.
He says he was born this way but we’re sure that, with some counselling, he could be made normal again.
Dear Devastated Parents,
The nature versus nurture argument you mention doesn’t apply to your son because both nature AND nurture interact to shape an individual’s personality. However, nature is definitely the more dominant force because many of the basic characteristics of personality are inborn. A child is not born a blank slate and his or her basic personality, including sexuality, is already present at birth, just as their eye colour, physical build and health are.
Homosexuality is present in all cultures in equal measures, but the difference is whether society permits it to be expressed and accepted, or demands it to be denied and concealed. This is where the nurture part comes into play. However, basic sexuality will always make itself be known to the individual regardless of cultural conditioning.
Homosexuality is not a life choice or a mental illness that needs to be cured like some sexual disease.
Your son’s sexuality has obviously come as a huge shock so perhaps you should both consider counselling to help you to come to terms with it.