Belfast Telegraph

I am devastated that I can’t have kids of my own

Fiona Caine is here to help if you have a relationship, sexual, marriage or family problem.

After several failed attempts at IVF, my husband and I have sadly decided that we are going to give up on the idea of having children.

I’m 36 and we think that enough is enough, but although I know it’s the right decision, I can’t shake the sadness I feel.

Everywhere I look there are mums with babies. I don’t know anyone among my friends who hasn’t now had children.

I know my husband is as sad as I am about it but we’ve decided that adoption is not for us, so I am going to have to get used to the idea of being childless. I just feel an overwhelming sense of loss. BJ

FIONA SAYS: YOU’RE GOING THROUGH A GRIEVING-LIKE PROCESS

It seems that you really aren't alone in this. There are many people who have deep regrets at not having, or at being unable to have, a family.

The process you are going through is very similar to grieving — the sense of loss you feel is like a bereavement and it will take time to come through it.

The support of others who have been through similar experiences will help.

More To Life is a website, forum and support network established by The Infertility Network for those who are involuntarily childless.

Support comes from its network of volunteers — either through telephone contact or through regional activities.

Meeting others who understand the pressures and hardship you are going through — and who won't judge you — can be very empowering.

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