Belfast Telegraph

Monday 1 September 2014

I don’t approve of my daughter’s boyfriend

Fiona Caine is here to help if you have a relationship, sexual, marriage or family problem

My daughter, who’s 19 years old, met and moved in with a 25-year-old man earlier this year. We were worried because he owes a lot of money and he’s always broke.

I’ve now found out that my daughter has run up huge debts to pay off most of what he owes.

She seems very rundown and I’m so worried for her, but when I try and tell her this man is doing her no good, she won’t listen.

She’s just not the same girl she was 12 months ago and I wish I could help her. JC

FIONA SAYS: SHE’S GROWING UP

Sometimes, as parents, we need to stand back and let our children make their own decisions, even when we know they are the wrong ones.

No, she’s not the same “girl” she was; she’s 19 years old and a woman, and I’m afraid you may never get that “girl” back again because she’s growing up.

If you keep telling her she’s made the wrong choice, you risk driving her away completely. Try not to judge, for all you know this man may be working very hard to pay back the money he owes.

Most parents find that once they acknowledge a measure of independence in their offspring, most of them willingly return to renew family ties anyway.

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