Belfast Telegraph

I’m 50 and I’ve never slept with anybody

Northern Ireland's number one agony aunt Fiona Hurley answers your problems

Dear Fiona, This isn’t anything I could discuss with anybody else, but I am 50 and still a virgin.

Although I’ve had boyfriends and men friends in the past, the relationships never developed that way, but now I have met somebody and feel ready for a sexual relationship.

He has no idea I’ve never had sex before and I am terrified he’ll realise my inexperience and regard me as a freak. I really don’t want our relationship to fall at the first post, but is there anything I can do to make myself seem more experienced?

Worried, Dungannon

Dear Worried,

Lying really isn’t a sound basis for a good, loving relationship in my book. If a couple starts with lies, the deception will drive the pair apart, not bring them closer together.

So you need to start by being open and honest to this man. Then you will be able to relax and just be yourself, which I’m sure he will appreciate far more than the awkwardness that could arise if you try to be something you’re not.

If you are familiar with your own body and know what arouses you, that might help the situation, but no matter what age you are, the first time with a new partner is always a little nerve-wracking.

I don’t think he will be too surprised if you show some signs of anxiety — he may well feel the same way!

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