Belfast Telegraph

Thursday 18 December 2014

I’m concerned for my grandchildren

Fiona Caine is here to help if you have a relationship, sexual, marriage or family problem

My 25-year-old daughter is a single, working mum. I look after my two grandsons quite frequently, but I’m not sure my daughter is taking care of them properly.

They always seem to be hungry and their clothes are often dirty and unpressed.

They’re always happy enough but money is tight and now my daughter is seeing a man who’s unemployed.

I wish she could see that she’s setting a poor example to her sons, but whenever I try to talk to her, she just laughs and says I shouldn’t worry. How can I make her see sense? PA

FIONA SAYS: DON’T CRITICISE, BE PROUD

Any single mum bringing up two boys and holding down a job deserves admiration, in my view.

Boys are always ravenous — even after a four-course meal, they can usually wolf down a plate of sandwiches. Plus their clothes don't usually stay clean for more than five minutes.

The fact that they are happy is far more important than any amount of ironing, in my book. Your daughter needs your love and support, not your criticism of the way she brings up her boys.

There may be things she doesn’t get right, but you seem so worried about these things that you are failing to see all of the good things. Two healthy and happy boys is something to be proud of.

I hope you can look at things a little differently and feel able to offer her the help she clearly values

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