Belfast Telegraph

I'm in love with a colleague at work

Fiona Caine is here to help if you have a relationship, sexual, marriage or family problem.

Can you help me? I have fallen head over heels in love with a work colleague, but the problem is she’s been happily married for 25 years.

I know I should be past this by now — I’m a single guy in my early forties and this woman is about seven or eight years older, but looks much younger.

The last thing I want to do is ruin her marriage or our working relationship.

I’ve not had too much luck in the past; this is absolutely killing me inside, and I’m struggling to concentrate on my work.

I know it’s the real thing, so do you think I should tell her how I feel? DL

FIONA SAYS: NO, TRY TO MEET NEW|PEOPLE

No, I absolutely do not — you think it's the real thing but you can't possibly know it. You don't really know this woman at all.

She's not given you any indication that your feelings are reciprocated — indeed, you admit that she's happily married.

So what would telling her achieve?

You'd embarrass her; she might feel sorry for you, but she might well be angry and uncomfortable with you.

Telling her would make the working relationship very difficult for her, even if you'd find it easier.

You say you've not had much luck in the past, but you're doing nothing to increase your chances by fantasising over the unobtainable.

Get out there and meet new people — single people who are free and interested in developing relationships.

Start relaxing and having fun, and you'll soon realise this was nothing more than a passing phase.

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