Belfast Telegraph

I'm stuck in a rut

Fiona Caine is here to help if you have a relationship, sexual, marriage or family problem.

I’ve very little confidence and can’t ever see myself amounting to very much because of the way I feel.

I was recently offered a promotion at work that involved overseas travel but I turned it down because I was too scared to be so far away from home.

I want to change my life but I don’t know how. I am so depressed with myself and although I have a boyfriend, I don't like him but can't face telling him how I feel.

I know I’m stuck in a rut but why am I like this and what’s wrong with me? AJ

FIONA SAYS: THEN JUMP!

For some reason you seem to be scared of change and that's holding you back from all kinds of things in your life.

You claim to lack confidence but your employers obviously haven't noticed, otherwise they wouldn't have offered you the chance to represent them abroad. The best way out of a rut is to jump.

Go back and ask if that job abroad is still available — that way you will achieve two things at once.

You will be forced to rely on yourself and make a new life somewhere else and your boyfriend will no longer be on the scene.

Let him down gently — he doesn't deserve to be hurt just because you've gone off him.

We, all of us, find ourselves battling two sides of our conscience from time to time.

You have let the negative side rule for too long so you may need a bit of help to start doing what you really want.

How To Develop Inner Strength, a book by Dr Windy Dryden (Sheldon Press, £7.99), would be worth reading, as it might help you to cope with life's challenges.

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