Belfast Telegraph

I’m trapped in a bad marriage

Fiona Caine is here to help if you have a relationship, sexual, marriage or family problem

I used to have a good marriage, but three years ago it all went sour when my husband started drinking excessively.

We’ve had endless, bitter rows about it, although he says he still loves me and our children. During one particularly difficult period about three months ago, I started an affair with the tutor of my evening class.

It’s been a lifeline for me — he is aware of my position and has said that he loves me and is prepared to wait until I leave my husband to be with him.

I’m so tempted to look for happiness with this man but I don’t want to hurt my husband or our children.

I feel so trapped. TC

FIONA SAYS: ALL’S NOT LOST

Your husband says he loves you and you care enough about him not to want to hurt him, so I don’t think all is lost between you.

You could still make a go of this marriage, but not if you continue with your affair and not without help.

You may have strong feelings for this man, but you need to be brave and end this affair, especially if you still hold hope of saving your marriage.

It will take an open and determined effort from you and your husband to talk to each other and rebuild what you once had.

Relate counselling (relate.org.uk) can help you with this and your husband may need help with his drinking, too. I suggest he looks at drinkaware.co.uk to see the risks he is taking — and he might particularly like to look at the link on ‘alcohol & you’.

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