Belfast Telegraph

Saturday 19 April 2014

My boyfriend won’t reveal relationship

Fiona Caine is here to help if you have a relationship, sexual, marriage or family problem

I’m a single mum and for the past two years I’ve been going out with a man who is a divorced dad.

He’s been great with my daughter, who’s started calling him ‘daddy’, and I was really happy with the way things were going.

Then, just before Christmas, his son, who’s 12 years old, decided he no longer wanted to live with his mum and moved in with my boyfriend.

Now we hardly see him because he doesn’t want to tell his son about our relationship. I suppose he doesn’t want to complicate things, but it’s hurtful — and my daughter is very confused.

Until this is resolved, we just get snatched moments of his time, and I’m sure his son would be better off knowing the truth. FW

FIONA SAYS: IT’S TIME TO FACE FACTS

At 12, your boyfriend's son is old enough to accept that his father has a life, so I'm inclined to agree with you, and I can't see how it would hurt the boy.

He may resent you to begin with but as long as you handle this with tact and let him see that he's not losing his father, I'm sure he'll come around.

Your boyfriend is only ducking the issue if he thinks he can carry on like this. It's been three months now, so I think the time has come for him to face up to the fact that wherever his son lives, he is going to figure significantly in your lives.

If your boyfriend refuses to bring you all together, then your future together looks gloomy and you may have to end things.

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