Belfast Telegraph

My boyfriend's mother hates me

Fiona Caine is here to help if you have a relationship, sexual, marriage or family problem.

The joke about mothers-in-law has turned into a reality for me. My boyfriend’s mother really hates me. She dislikes the fact that I had her first grandchild and that we aren’t even married.

Her plan was for her daughter to have the first grandchild, not her son’s lover.

She also hates that I am currently getting divorced when she, despite having a terrible relationship with her own husband, stayed married.

When I was pregnant she was really nasty and when my baby was born she spent most of her time being abusive to me at the hospital.

It's not my fault that my baby was her first grandchild, but what can I do? FP

FIONA SAYS: YOU HAVE THREE OPTIONS

There is very little you can do if she has made up her mind to take against you like this.

Have you talked the situation over with your boyfriend? Is there any influence he might be able to bring to bear?

All you can do is either continue to be polite and reasonable in the face of her abuse or else have nothing at all to do with her.

The first is hard for you; the second is hard for your boyfriend and, perhaps for your baby.

As she doesn't seem to care very much either way, I don't think either option will have much effect on bringing her around.

She might eventually realise that she won't have a relationship with her grandchild which may make her change.

There is a third option which is to have a confrontation with her and point out that her behaviour is entirely unreasonable. If you do that though, the end result might be options one or two anyway.

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