Belfast Telegraph

Wednesday 20 August 2014

My brother-in-law is causing rows

Fiona Caine is here to help if you have a relationship, sexual, marriage or family problem

My brother-in-law is becoming a pest. He keeps dropping in when he knows my husband is out.

At first, I thought nothing of it, but when his visits became more frequent, I asked my husband to speak to him.

While things improved for a short time, he started visiting again, so I asked my mother-in-law to intervene.

She completely lost her temper with me and said I was trying to cause trouble between the brothers — we haven’t spoken since. Now my husband says I should have spoken to him first, which leaves me feeling completely alienated.

I feel so angry that I am being seen as the guilty party.

What should I do next? KP

FIONA SAYS: FOCUS ON YOUR MARRIAGE

You and your husband made it clear that these visits weren't welcome.

Your mother-in-law was probably shocked by your accusation and her natural reaction was to defend her son.

Clearly, the guilty party is your brother-in-law, but his behaviour is threatening to divide the family.

For now, ignore the issue with your mother-in-law and concentrate on getting your marriage back on track.

Once people see the two of you happy together, they may begin to realise that the problem lies elsewhere.

If your brother-in-law calls, don't answer the door to him, but call your husband immediately.

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