Belfast Telegraph

My ex has gone and left me

Northern Ireland's number one agony aunt Fiona Hurley answers your problems

Dear Fiona, My ex-girlfriend loves herself and she’s not well liked. I’m still devastated because she finished with me recently saying I’m not good-looking and I don’t earn enough money.

She doesn’t see her family or friends anymore because she says they’re not good for her reputation.

She imagines she is something special and thinks everyone’s jealous of her.

Her attitude’s embarrassing and I was constantly ashamed of the way she treated people but I stuck with her because the sex was good. Could she have some sort of mental problem?

SM

Dear SM,

Everyone has a level of narcissism that’s necessary for maintaining a healthy self-confidence. It becomes a problem when someone has an unrealistically inflated idea of themselves.

This is a defence mechanism that has sprung into action to hide insecurities. They’re overcompensating for an inferiority complex and weakened ego. Parenting may also be a factor if children are brought up to believe they’re better than everyone else.

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