Belfast Telegraph

Saturday 19 April 2014

 My fiance makes such a mess

Fiona Caine is here to help if you have a relationship, sexual, marriage or family problem

I'm due to get married in two months’ time and my boyfriend and I decided we’d save some money if I moved in with him now.

The thing is, I had no idea how untidy he was going to be.

He’s quite happy to leave stuff lying everywhere, and when he can’t find anything, he moans because I’ve tidied it away.

I can’t bear living in such a state and I’m now wondering whether I’m doing the right thing.

Should I go ahead with the wedding? RL

FIONA SAYS: LEARN TO COMPROMISE

If he's not had to worry about domestic chores before (perhaps because he's had others to do the chores for him), it's going to be hard work to make him change. It may also be that his untidiness is a deliberate response to what he sees as your attempts to control him.

Either way, it's not something that should be the cause of a marriage break-up. Compromise is going to be necessary for both of you.

You're going to have to relax your standards a little and he's going to have to clean up a bit.

You're both adults and so should be able to work out a compromise.

Could you allow him to be messy in the bedroom if he keeps the living room tidy, for example?

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