Belfast Telegraph

My husband and I have nothing in common now

Fiona Caine is here to help if you have a relationship, sexual, marriage or family problem.

I have been married for 26 years and have four children ranging in age from 10 to 24.

My husband is 56 and it pains me to admit it, but we have absolutely nothing in common any more.

We don’t do anything together and even sleep in separate rooms. In fact, we can go for days without having a conversation.

Over the last five years, I feel we have fallen out of love and into a mind-numbing, monotonous routine.

I don’t think we’re doing each other — or the children — any good like this and I get so depressed.

I have nowhere else to go and have nothing to look forward to, but all I want is a husband to go out with occasionally.

Is this too much to expect? ST

FIONA SAYS: TALK TO EACH OTHER

Relationships die unless they are worked at and, sadly, you and your husband have allowed yours to sink without a trace. I would suggest that the basic issue in your relationship seems to be an inability to talk to each other.

If you've never properly discussed things, you have never understood each other's point of view — no wonder you've grown apart.

All relationships are about compromise and if two people have loved each other once, there is always a chance they can do so again — as long as they are both prepared to try.

You seem to want to rescue your marriage, so why not see if you can get your husband to talk about the future and what he wants from it?

Counselling may help, but only if you are both willing to try. The two of you have drifted so far apart that it is going to need patience and some hard work to build bridges again.

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