Belfast Telegraph

My husband keeps nagging me to get a job

Fiona Caine is here to help if you have a relationship, sexual, marriage or family problem.

My husband has a good job with a decent wage but, even so, we can’t seem to make ends meet.

He wants me to go back to work but our baby is only nine months old and the cost of a nursery would make a huge hole in what I could earn, as I’m not qualified.

I did start to deliver advertising stuff door-to-door with the buggy, but it paid peanuts and I got so fed up with it that I gave it up.

My husband used to be very easy-going but he’s now very irritable and I know he’s worried about money and his job.

He keeps nagging me to find something that pays in what I can do but I think he’s being unfair.

I don’t go out much — if at all — and he goes to the pub at least two nights a week.

He smokes, too, and if I say something or complain he just gets more irritable saying he earns it so he can spend it how he likes.

Sometimes I think I’d be better off if I left him. JK

FIONA SAYS: GET HELP TO SORT OUT YOUR FINANCIAL PROBLEMS

Money problems are one of the biggest causes of upset in a relationship and I expect it is stress that is making your husband drink, smoke and be irritable.

You need help to sort out your financial problems. I suspect that even if you got a job it wouldn't solve everything as your spending patterns are what have got you into this mess.

So rather than spend time now looking for a job, I suggest you contact the National Debtline, tel: 0800 808 4000.

This confidential service can offer you expert advice on whatever sort of debt you are dealing with, (rent or mortgage arrears, credit cards, etc).

It can also help you to set up a plan to manage your money and help you write or talk to your creditors.

Down the line a bit, when you've sorted out just how much you need to live on, then perhaps you can look at alternative job options. For example, a job share with a friend where you take it in turns to look after each other's children.

The other option is to find a job with hours that mean he can look after the baby while you work.

Finally, think about the possibility of doing a training course of some kind at a college with a creche.

That way you could get a qualification of some kind that would enable you to look for a better paid role.

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