Belfast Telegraph

My parents pressure me about kids

Fiona Caine is here to help if you have a relationship, sexual, marriage or family problem.

I’m 26 and my parents want me to marry and have children. I’m quite happy being single and I’m sure I don’t want kids.

They are putting a lot of pressure on me and although I’ve had several boyfriends, I’ve not found anyone I’d like to live with.

I think it’s the fact that they want grandchildren that’s the real problem, though.

Their pressure is beginning to upset me and I can’t make them understand how I feel. Any ideas? TM

FIONA SAYS: DO WHAT’S BEST FOR YOU

While you might at some point find someone you want to live with and change your mind about children, you have every right, until then, to decide what’s best for you.

I believe having children should be a conscious choice and it worries me that many people have children without taking any kind of decision.

There is a website — childfree.net — that might help you to explain things to your parents. It is full of articles, links and support and would be worth looking at.

Stand firm, but understand that part of the problem is that you are rejecting their lifestyle choice and that is hard for them.

Getting upset and angry won’t help — trying to understand things from their perspective will make it easier to counter their arguments.

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