Belfast Telegraph

Thursday 25 December 2014

My parents won’t allow me to date

Fiona Caine is here to help if you have a relationship, sexual, marriage or family problem

I’m 17 years old but my parents still don't want me to go out at night or have a boyfriend. I suppose they are worried that I'll get into trouble, but I can't live my life like this — they are so unreasonable.

I've got a boyfriend that they don't know about and we like each other a lot. I don't like lying to my parents but surely, at 17, I'm old enough to decide for myself. BS

FIONA SAYS: BE HONEST

In a year's time you are going to considered a legal adult, so I tend to agree with you that you should be making decisions for yourself now.

Hiding a relationship, though, isn't really demonstrating to your parents that they can trust you to be responsible, so I think you need to tell them.

Be prepared for them to be cross that you've developed a relationship behind their backs, but point out to them that you will soon be an adult.

You live in their home, so you should expect to adhere to some reasonable guidelines of behaviour, but at your age they cannot expect you not to have relationships at all.

It will be less stressful for you all, though, if you recognise that they are probably this way because they love and care for you and so worry about what will happen to you.

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