Belfast Telegraph

My partner uses me to look after his kids

Fiona Caine is here to help if you have a relationship, sexual, marriage or family problem.

I am 24 and have been living with a man who is 36 since just before Christmas. He has two children who live with us and I have a child too.

We’d been seeing each other for a year before I moved in, but now I am wondering if all he really wanted was a mum for his kids.

He keeps all our money and we are always arguing and fighting, especially when he goes out drinking at night.

I’m left to look after three children, two of whom are not even mine, and with no money to do anything with them.

Everything is always my fault and he grumbles all the time. He says he loves me and I thought I loved him, but now I'm not so sure. I think he may just be taking advantage of me. SL

FIONA SAYS: TELL HIM TO CHANGE

If this man loves you, he has a very strange way of showing it.

Loving someone involves care and respect and he seems to be showing you precious little of that.

I feel terribly sorry for his two children because he doesn't seem to be showing them much love either.

However, you shouldn't have to take responsibility for them as well as your own child.

He needs to understand what he is doing to you and to them, so you need to stand up to him and make him realise this is no way to behave.

If he hasn't listened to you in the past, you may need some outside help to get him to see the need for change.

You could ask a relative to help, or perhaps consider contacting the relationship counselling service Relate.

If he still refuses to adjust, then maybe he's not the man for you after all.

Don't leave it too long to decide, because otherwise the trauma for his children will be much greater.

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