My son misses his Dad
Fiona Caine is here to help if you have a relationship, sexual, marriage or family problem.
After it came out that my husband was having an affair, we split up and got divorced. It’s been an uphill struggle but I’m over it now.
However, unfortunately, my son isn’t.
He really misses his dad, although I can’t understand why because he was never there for him.
After everything that’s happened, I don’t want his dad visiting any more. He is in the army, so there’s not much chance of that at the moment.
The two occasions he did come here after we’d split, he was drunk and came so late that my son was asleep in bed.
What can I do to help my son? I can't bear to see him hurting so much. RC
FIONA SAYS: DON’T BE NEGATIVE ABOUT HIS FATHER
In most cases it is considered by professionals that it's better for a child to keep in contact with both parents following a divorce.
However hard this may be for the adults, it usually gives the child an added measure of stability.
In your case, however, your ex-partner's apparent indifference to your son might make things worse for him.
Any visits he might make could do more harm than good if he shows no interest in your son while he's there.
It is only fair to your son to tell him that his father won't be around for a long time. It may well be when he and his father are older that they want to re-establish a relationship, so, whatever you do, don't talk about your ex-husband's faults with your son. Just tell him his dad will be away for a long time.
Meanwhile, try to ensure there are male role models in your son's life — uncles, cousins, grandfathers, etc — as this will help him as he grows.
If you need help managing as a single parent, contact Gingerbread, the charity for single parents, on 0808 802 0925 or visit gingerbread.org.uk