Belfast Telegraph

Wednesday 23 April 2014

New partner does not want more children

Fiona Caine is here to help if you have a relationship, sexual, marriage or family problem.

I divorced three years ago, and my son and I have been living with another man for the past 18 months.

My husband didn’t seem to care for us, but my new man is very different. I have been hoping we’d marry and have more children, but he’s got children by a previous marriage and says he doesn’t want any more right now.

I love him and believe he loves me, but I’m 32 and my biological clock is ticking!

Should I tell him I can’t wait, or should I leave him and find someone who is willing to have children — assuming there is someone out there interested in a 30-plus single mum. MF

FIONA SAYS: GIVE IT MORE TIME

At 32 you still have many more fertile years ahead of you, and women have healthy babies well into their 40s.

You say this man loves you, so why not give him a bit more time: he hasn’t said “never”, he’s said “not yet”.

I suspect he is feeling sad and unhappy about being separated from his children, and once he has come to terms with his changed relationship with them he may well come around to the idea of having a child with you.

Eighteen months is not that long to cement a relationship, so give it more time — putting pressure on him over something that you don’t need to do could drive a good man away.

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