My partner doesn’t back me when it comes to disciplining the children and has sometimes told me I’m wrong in front of them.
I am trying to help and guide our kids but, when he disagrees with me like this, they can’t know where their boundaries lie.
Recently they were talking about going trick-or-treating for Halloween and I said they were too young to go alone.
Then my partner came in and said they could go without us as long as they were back in an hour. We ended up having a row and the children are even more confused. SF
FIONA SAYS: DON'T PUT KIDS IN THE MIDDLE
I may be wrong, but I'd say you're channelling your relationship problems through your children.
That's unhealthy for them and unhealthy for your relationship as a couple.
Different approaches aren't always a bad thing, but they should be talked about without the children around and certainly shouldn't end in rows.
You need to explore why you feel the need to disagree with each other in front of them and you might need counselling to help you — contact Relate.
Once your children no longer feel they are in the middle of a battlefield, I'm sure you'll all feel happier.