Should I buy a house with my daughter?
Fiona Caine is here to help if you have a relationship, sexual, marriage or family problem.
Published 18/07/2012 | 12:13
I brought my three children up alone after my husband walked out. As a result, I have a close relationship with them all.
Two are married, but my middle child, my daughter, who is 32, still lives with me.
I plan to sell this house and buy another and she has suggested we do so together.
She has a well-paid job and thinks this is a great idea, providing we respect each other’s needs.
I am about to retire and like the idea of having her around, but I do have nagging doubts that perhaps this arrangement won't work. Do you have any thoughts or suggestions as to what we should do? SJ
FIONA SAYS: TALK OPENLY TO COVER ALL THE BASES
While I don't think this arrangement would work for me, I know plenty of people who have adult children living with them and they're perfectly happy.
But I think you should give some thought to what would happen if either you or your daughter decides to get married? Don't assume it won't happen, because you just don't know.
How will you cope with each other's friends or lovers? Have you sorted out who pays for what?
You also need to talk about wills — what would happen if one of you were to die — who would then get the house?
How would the rest of your family feel if you were to die first and your daughter doesn't want to move?
Will they be willing to wait for their share of the inheritance or will they pressure her to sell up?
I'm not trying to be morbid, but these are just the sort of situations that can lead to ill-feeling among family members.
If you are both prepared to talk openly about these things, then you should be able to reach a working solution that suits you all.