Belfast Telegraph

Thursday 24 April 2014

Should I confess to drunken fling?

Fiona Caine is here to help if you have a relationship, sexual, marriage or family problem

I was at a conference for work the other month and stupidly had a fling with another delegate.

I was a little bit drunk after the dinner; he was friendly and attractive and we ended up in bed together, although we didn’t have sex.

I couldn't look at myself in the mirror the morning after. Fortunately, he’d already left, so I didn’t have to see him again.

I love my husband very much and would never want to hurt him. I feel so guilty.

I know I'll never do this again, but should I tell him? NP

FIONA SAYS: STAY QUIET

What would telling him achieve?

It might make you feel better, but it will make him feel a whole lot worse. If you're sure there is no chance of you infecting him with a sexually transmitted disease, then it would be kinder to him to stay quiet.

Living with guilt is hard, but perhaps you could see it as a punishment for your infidelity and it will certainly make you think twice about letting it happen again.

If you confess and he forgives you, then you may be tempted the next time you're away.

I think you should try to find out what really made you do this in the first place.

Why not talk with a Relate counsellor (relate.org.uk) about your feelings?

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