Should I get back with guy I ditched?
Northern Ireland's number one agony aunt Fiona Hurley answers your problems
Dear Fiona, When I was just 16 I was engaged to a lovely bloke but I thought I was missing something and we broke up.
He tried to win me back but I made a new life for myself and met someone else, as did he, although we remained best friends.
I recently discovered his wife has died and I’m also on my own. Do you think we could become close again or is it too late?
It’s vital to manage your expectations of this relationship to avoid disappointment. He will have changed over the years, as you will have, and there’ll be additional people involved who might complicate the relationship. Offspring may not welcome another person into their parent’s life following the death of their mother or father.
It’s also possible he’s holding onto old hurts and insecurities and so may doubt your commitment.
However you’re older, wiser, less likely to play with another person’s emotions and people do hold lifelong flames. Couples can reunite and have a happy ending so I’d say go for it. But start slowly — it might be a good idea to renew the relationship on a friendly basis to start.